The Shape I'm In
By, C. Heidi Drew
February 2012
I used to think that I was a square based on the shape of my face but then I realized that I'm really more of a rectangle and that fits my description in so many ways, far better. I have a square jaw which I like and in profile, I always thought my head was square which is not entirely true because if you look at my face, it's longer than its width, which is more a rectangle. Phew, I don't like thinking I'm a square. Then if you consider the word, rectangle I could admit I can be a wreck of a tangled mess sometimes. However, upon my delightful sunny, windy, Wellington tramp, as I adjudged this of myself, my fine blond hair becoming the tangle of its own on my head, I was not feeling the wreck that I have been at times. I felt free like the seagulls soaring and screaming above me, though I did not feel the need to scream. Taking in the beauty of the wildflowers along my convoluted path down to the ocean and reminding myself to collect some for the house upon my return, I continued my metaphor. My hips are also sort of rectangular as are my feet, eyebrows and nostrils. Definitely, I am a rectangle.
I then tried to play the shape game with my loved ones. My mother is from where I get my square jaw. She said she had a pin head but it may have been a square pin. Her personality was a bit square, as well, because she wasn't at all on the cutting edge of anything, though she was the sweetest square one could ever know. Actually, I don't think that many people really knew her very well, other than her family. She was a private, retiring square. That is not to say she was anti-social but that was the shape she was in, not mine.
My oldest daughter, Jessica is a bit square in the face like my mother but rounder, maybe more of a circle. Right now she is a sphere because she is eight months pregnant. Her eyes are rounder than the rest of us and she loves having people around while she is constantly focused on a point of accomplishment.
People more often than not remark on how much my second daughter approximates me, “She is your clone,” I've heard said but this isn't true. Science wasn't there thirty-one years ago. My reality is she is long, as I am, but more rounded like an oval and she has much softer edges. Amara goes away but then she gently turns around and comes back in her own loving way.
Then there is my son, Ian the string-bean though as he has grown up he has gotten broader toward the top, across his strong, sailor arms. I would say he is an exclamation point at the end of my immediate off-spring. His exclamation is made with joking and music and his large feet are the point. Despite his joie de vivre, they keep him grounded in some crazy way.
So, what does that say, that I am a rectangle? I follow a straight path until I get bored and become a wreck not knowing why until I turn a corner. Well, that's the emotional analogy but the physical is bouncing all over the world, living in several locales in a year. Maybe I am a dotted line rectangle but not perforated so don't detach me from this world, yet.
The heart shaped face is my partner and he truly is a sweetheart. I'm lucky to have a steady heart in my life on this year's Valentines Day.
